Are You Busy?

"And besides they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house, and not only idle but also gossips and busybodies, saying things which they ought not." (1 Timothy 5:13) "This passage refers to the temptation younger widows encounter when they have no husband at home to provide the ballast they need to be home-centered. But certainly, other women in the Christian community are tempted to be busybodies as well. It may sound harmless, but Scripture ranks this sin with some of the big ones: "But let none of you suffer as a murderer, a thief, an evildoer or as a busybody in other people's matters." (1 Peter 4:15)

What is a busybody? In this passage, she is a woman who delights in other people's business. Instead of being focused on her own home, her own duties, her own family, the busybody is interested in everyone else's business. A busybody is "busy" gathering and passing on information. Of course, saying these things is sinful, but knowing them may be equally sinful.

Let's back up and examine how a woman becomes a busybody. First she must learn idleness, as our text says. But how does a woman learn idleness? The image seems contradictory! I suggest that it is learned by studiously avoiding the duties God has laid out for her. The budding busybody must shirk her domestic duties for the more pleasant task of "visiting."

The woman Paul describes is wandering about the neighborhood. It is far easier to leave unfinished duties behind than step over them. The woman the busybody visits can't see her laundry pile or the dirty kitchen floor. As the busybody wanders from house to house, she is far from idle: she is busy gathering information about everyone else's affairs. Does the modern busybody wander from house to house? You bet. She goes here for coffee and there for lunch. She's charging around town, dropping in and checking up. Or she may be busy chatting over the back fence while hanging out the laundry. The news gathered at stop one is repeated with relish at stop two. This also provides her with lots of prayer requests for Bible study or prayer meeting.

Of course the modern busybody is not restrained if she doesn't have the means to wander about town. She has a more convenient method---the telephone (or now the computer). The modern busybody can be very "busy" on the phone for hours a day. This sort of idleness may produce weariness, but it doesn't produce the fruit God requires. A wonan's God-given duties must necessarily be neglected to carry on such extensive visiting.

How does the busybody conduct her visits? She asks many questions and is a keen listener. She asks questions that are meddlesome and interfering. But she seldom gives offense, because she seems so genuinely interested. No detail is insignificant for her. She delights in passing on "tasty morsels" and offers much information (about others) without waiting to be asked.

Since her head is so full of "other people's matters," much of what is fact and what is hearsay is easily blurred. Now she has become not only a busybody passing on the "news," but a gossip passing on rumors. Meanwhile, is the laundry done? Is dinner planned? Can she really afford all this time?

A few cautions come immediately to mind. First, ask yourself if you are a busybody. If you are working hard at home faithfully doing your God-given duties, then you will have little time for such foolish behavior. Nevertheless, recall your recent conversations. Have you been too involved in "other people's matters"? Do you pass on information about other people's affairs? And perhaps the most revealing question: do you delight in being the first to know and the first to tell?

Second, do you have a friend who is a busybody? Take care. You may be drawn into her bad habits. Don't listen to her repeat all the news. Excuse yourself from inappropriate conversations. Do you have a regular group you meet with to "visit' and fellowship, a homeschool group, a sewing group, a quilting group, or a reading group? Is the conversation on topic, or is it often about other people? Perhaps you should withdraw from such a group, if it is domintated by busybodies. Busybodies will be quick to criticize the children, the schooling methods, etc., of other people not in the room. They will share things freely about others that they would never say, if those people were present.

Finally, if you know someone to be a busybody, keep your distance. Be careful what you tell her. Assume that everything you say will get around the community. That should motivate you to exercise discretion. Be careful what you say about your family, especially about your husband. Be sure your comments are always respectful and kind and God-honoring. That sort of new isn't nearly as much fun to pass on."

---Taken from:

The Fruit of Her Hands

by Nancy Wilson

Do you think that Facebooking & blogging qualify? I know that I am constantly on Facebook & do "shirk" some of my responsibilities at home to have time to "visit." There are a lot of things that I should be doing or want to do that "I never have time to do" simply because I choose to sit at the computer instead & make sure that I'm "up" on everyone else's business. I've really been giving some thought about why I facebook. Do I REALLY need to keep in touch with all these people? Do they REALLY need a play-by-play update of my daily doings? Do I really care to even keep in touch with some of these people? Most are family, some are friends that I see once a week at church & others are people that I haven't seen in 10-20 yrs. I believe that there is a reason we don't keep up with everyone we've ever met....we just can't. I, at least, can't have a meaningful relationship with all of these people and get everything done.

What are your thoughts?